Could “Arab Spring” Be Fiction?

Health Institute Reveals Shocking Data

Washington, D.C. November 26th, 2012 (SHK)

Mohamed Morsi, the democratically elected president of Egypt, unleashed a hornet’s nest of vitriol and abuse last Friday when he issued an edict giving him unchecked authority.

Critics accused him of being another pharaoh and restoring the kind of autocratic government that brought down his strongman predecessor, Hosni Mubarak, the most recent in Egypt’s long line of totalitarian dictators.

The White House issued a statement of support for Egypt’s new president when Mr. Obama was quoted as saying, “We have to be patient and give democracy a chance. We must let the ‘Arab Spring’ blossom. It’s the new wave in the Arab world.”

But leading scientists refused to be misled by political events like these. Microbiologists at the National Institutes of Health disclosed shocking new genetic analysis that could make ‘Arab democracy’ the world’s most popular oxymoron.

“You simply can’t argue with empirical data,” said NIH director Dr, Francis Collins, M.D. “Scientific facts don’t lie.”

The nation’s leading genetic analyst, Vaslov Verinopolis, Ph.D., head of the Human Genome Project, confirmed the NIH findings.

“Biologists now know that Arabs are missing the key RD(3) gene in their genetic makeup,” said Dr. Verinopolis. “This gene governs rational discourse and has never been isolated anywhere in the Middle East, though it does tend to dominate the human genomes of Europe, Asia and North America.”

“More to the point,” Dr. Collins noted, “is that Arabs are oversupplied with the rare IR(4) gene,” a critical genetic component that controls irrational rage. “We have long known Arabs to be overstocked with the IR(4) gene but have refrained from disclosing it until now for political reasons.”

Team members at the Human Genome Project said the missing RD(3) and abundant IR(4) genes have been documented in just three other genetic structures: the eleven former states of the Confederacy, the Vatican City and Teheran.

Scientists are still working feverishly to isolate the hybrid DT(8) gene, which governs delusional thinking. “Our data so far suggests that this gene tends to dominate minority groups,” Dr. Verinopolis said, “like Shiite Muslims, creationists and liberal Democrats.”

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