THIS SPRING’S NEW SCUMBAG SITCOMS Four-letter Words Headline Network Lineups New York, NY March 26th, 2012 (SHK) America’s national TV networks have, in the words of one critic, “spawned a new generation of sitcoms that feature idiotic characters” in an attempt to reach a wider viewing audience. After Charlie Sheen’s recent off-screen drug-addled tempest, he [...]
OUR TEN WORST PH.D. THESIS TITLES Somehow, the Topics seem more Credible in an Election Year New York, NY March 3rd, 2012 (SHK) A recent report by the National Endowment for the Arts suggests a possible reason for the decline of American influence in the world. The NEA showcased ten recent Ph.D. thesis titles that [...]
MASSIVE EXPLOSION SPLITS NEARBY PLANET New Black Hole Feared in Solar System Washington, DC November 21st, 2011 (SHK) A giant intraplanetary blast apparently created an unprecedented gorge in a well-known planet’s crust, astrophysicists said yesterday. “There is clearly a huge crack in Uranus,” said Dr. Thaddeus (Tad) Stevens, head of extraterrestrial research at Cal Tech. [...]
SECURITY SCANNERS HAIL NEW TEST National Exam Creates Level Playing Field Washington, D.C. September 28th, 2011 (SHK) The nation’s news media loves to run stories about inadequate airport security. As a result, the Transportation Security Administration here, a division of Homeland Security, has implemented a new standardized national test that all employees will be required [...]
MANY POLITICIANS LACK COLLEGE EDUCATION Main reason America is in trouble, some say Washington, D.C. September 5th, 2011 (SHK) “America is a nation without a distinct criminal class,” the famous humorist Will Rogers once said, “with the possible exception of Congress.” According to the most recent data, 29 Congressional representatives had criminal records for spousal [...]
HISTORIC CHRISTIAN TEXTS UNEARTHED Jordan Cache Casts Doubt on Life of Jesus Amman, Jordan. July 26th, 2011 (SHK) A trove of previously unknown documents from the early Christian era has been unearthed in the desert near Madaba, in western Jordan, Biblical scholars at Yeshiva University’s School of Archeology in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, announced today. Yeshiva’s curriculum [...]
IS SCHOOL REFORM TAKING OFF? Jail Bars Now on Most Classroom Windows Washington, DC June 23rd, 2011 (SHK) Secretary of Education Arne Duncan today announced the results of the latest National Assessment of Educational Progress (NAEP) – the nation’s so-called report card. “No question about it,” he said from the marble steps of the expensive [...]
