FRANCE ELECTS A SOCIALIST PRESIDENT New 30-hour Workweek Sees Stock Markets Plunge Paris, France May 8th, 2012 (SHK) The French people elected Socialist François Hollande as their new president Sunday. His wife, Ségolène Royal, lost to Nicolas Sarkozy in the last election five years ago, but she’s back on the front pages again. Once voted [...]
DEPARTURE OF CHINESE DISSIDENT DELAYED Bureaucratic Bottlenecks for Exit Permits and U.S. Visas Beijing, China May 5th, 2012 (SHK) Chen Guangcheng, presently China’s most popular dissident because he is both illiterate and blind, has hit another roadblock in his attempt to leave the country. American and Chinese negotiators worked late into the night at the [...]
SECRET SERVICE CLAMPS DOWN ON AGENT CONDUCT U. S. Government Now to Provide Inflatable Sex Dolls Washington, D. C. April 29th, 2012 (SHK) The Federal government today announced stricter enforcement of behavior by Secret Service agents when they are sent overseas to protect the president. In addition to the embarrassment in Cartagena, some agents also [...]
AFGHANS RIOT WHEN NATO TROOPS BURN KORAN Muslims in Michigan Retaliate, Set Fire to Bibles in Detroit New York, NY Feb 24th, 2012 (SHK) The world was shocked when it was revealed that NATO troops in Afghanistan admitted they had burned the Koran, the Holy Book of Islam, at Bagram this week. “We were told [...]
WITH NO PRIMARIES, WORLD’S ABSURDITIES MULTIPLY The New York Times Features Only Sadness and Guilt Now New York, NY February 18th, 2012 (SHK) With the Republican primary elections in temporary hiatus, America’s leading newspapers like The New York Times have been inundating us with sad, guilt-laden stories from around the world. Recent front-page headlines showcase [...]
THE MOST ABSURD NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS In Other Words, is the World going Nuts? New York, NY January 1st, 2012 (SHK) World leaders and wannabes alike have made their New Year’s resolutions in time for the first day of the Year of the Dragon. Is the world getting crazier? Judge for yourself. Yitzchak Feldheim, a [...]
USED CAR BATTERIES THREATEN FOREIGNERS General Motors now the #1 Suspect Everywhere Washington, DC December 11th, 2011 (SHK) Homeland Security today announced that used batteries trucked regularly from the US to Mexico for disposal there have become an unexpected threat to people and politics alike. More than sixty packed 18-wheelers cross the border from Texas [...]
RADIOACTIVE “HOTSPOTS” FOUND IN TOKYO Japanese government cautions Tokyo residents not to panic Tokyo, Japan October 20th, 2011 (SHK) A private citizens group created to test for radioactivity in Tokyo warned today that Japan’s capital had far higher concentrations of radioactivity than the government previously disclosed. According to Takeo Hayashi, a janitor at the Tsukiji [...]
AFGHAN JIRGA DRAFTS CONSTITUTION Tajik, Pashtun, Alikozai tribes hail new pact Kabul, Afghanistan October 5th, 2011 (SHK) Leaders of three key tribal groups in Afghanistan put the finishing touches on a new Constitution yesterday, creating a brand-new country called the United States of Afghanistan. “Now when we hear shouts of ‘USA! USA!’ in hostile areas, [...]
BOTH PARTIES SAY THEY WANT JOBS Bipartisan effort to create more employment Washington, D.C. September 16th, 2011 After President Obama’s recent speech to a joint session of Congress, there is no doubt in anyone’s mind that our political leaders are focused on jobs. Their own. “Everybody knows we’re in a political cycle leading to elections [...]
