STUNNING NEW WINES WIN TASTE TESTS Viniculture Breakthroughs from New Jersey to Texas Bordeaux, France April 15th, 2012 (SHK) French winegrowers say they are increasingly concerned about a rash of American wines that have come to market from new wineries in New Jersey to unexpected competition from the state of Texas, where disgraced and now [...]
WITH NO PRIMARIES, WORLD’S ABSURDITIES MULTIPLY The New York Times Features Only Sadness and Guilt Now New York, NY February 18th, 2012 (SHK) With the Republican primary elections in temporary hiatus, America’s leading newspapers like The New York Times have been inundating us with sad, guilt-laden stories from around the world. Recent front-page headlines showcase [...]
MASSIVE EXPLOSION SPLITS NEARBY PLANET New Black Hole Feared in Solar System Washington, DC November 21st, 2011 (SHK) A giant intraplanetary blast apparently created an unprecedented gorge in a well-known planet’s crust, astrophysicists said yesterday. “There is clearly a huge crack in Uranus,” said Dr. Thaddeus (Tad) Stevens, head of extraterrestrial research at Cal Tech. [...]
RADIOACTIVE “HOTSPOTS” FOUND IN TOKYO Japanese government cautions Tokyo residents not to panic Tokyo, Japan October 20th, 2011 (SHK) A private citizens group created to test for radioactivity in Tokyo warned today that Japan’s capital had far higher concentrations of radioactivity than the government previously disclosed. According to Takeo Hayashi, a janitor at the Tsukiji [...]
BATTERIES CHARGING MORE NOW New Cars, Digital Gadgets Drive Utility Costs Higher Santa Clara, CA June 6, 2011 (SHK) The Leaf, Nissan Motor Company’s new all-electric zero-emission tiny-car that debuted recently and is now available to American consumers, has been hailed as the best way to beat climate change. With an 80kW synchronous motor, it [...]
FORD ANNOUNCES NEW FUELS Stunning Advance for American Science Detroit, MI May 9th, 2011 (SHK) The Ford Motor Company (NYSE ticker symbol FOMO) today announced a stunning breakthrough in America’s struggle to wean cars off hydrocarbon fuels. Called “Protein Powder” and trademarked ProPow®, the world’s newest and most advanced fuel is being hailed as a [...]
NEW FLORIDA KEYS DISCOVERED Spanish Explorers Reportedly Left Clues Miami, FL May 5th, 2011 (SHK) Dr. John D. McIlhenny, 53, chief oceanographer at the Florida Museum of Natural History in Miami, today announced a remarkable discovery by staff scientists on the ocean floor in the Gulf of Mexico. “We are proud to confirm the discovery [...]
WORLDWIDE PANIC OVER GEIGER COUNTERS Unit Prices Rise, Stock Prices Soar New York, NY, April 18th, 2011 (SHK) RayBan® Technologies Co. Ltd., the world’s dominant manufacturer of Geiger counters, said today that demand for their most popular product, the battery-operated Little Giant XP-3 Starbeam Detector™ , was out of control. According to RayBan spokesman Jeff [...]
