SECRET SERVICE CLAMPS DOWN ON AGENT CONDUCT U. S. Government Now to Provide Inflatable Sex Dolls Washington, D. C. April 29th, 2012 (SHK) The Federal government today announced stricter enforcement of behavior by Secret Service agents when they are sent overseas to protect the president. In addition to the embarrassment in Cartagena, some agents also [...]
NEW CAMPAIGN TO LEGALIZE GLOBAL SEX Spurred by the Committee for the Legalization of American Prostitution Washington, DC April 21st, 2012 (SHK) Last week a dozen Secret Service agents were recalled from Cartagena, Colombia, as part of an internal investigation into their nocturnal activities in “tolerance zones” while on duty protecting the President. They were [...]
WITH NO PRIMARIES, WORLD’S ABSURDITIES MULTIPLY The New York Times Features Only Sadness and Guilt Now New York, NY February 18th, 2012 (SHK) With the Republican primary elections in temporary hiatus, America’s leading newspapers like The New York Times have been inundating us with sad, guilt-laden stories from around the world. Recent front-page headlines showcase [...]
CALIFORNIA COURT REVERSES GAY MARRIAGE BAN More States to Tighten Laws by 2020 San Francisco, CA February 12th, 2012 (SHK) California’s 3-judge Ninth Federal district court of appeals voted 2-1 last week to overturn the state’s 2008 ban on gay marriage, assuring that the case will go to the Supremes next. According to the National [...]
IOWA’S CAUCUS KICKS OFF TODAY Republican Dwarves Hunting Straw Votes in a Haystack Des Moines, Iowa January 3rd, 2012 (SHK) The 2012 Open Season on Primaries starts today in Iowa. Republicans will watch the polls closely to see who takes the lead in this massively important landlocked Midwestern state. Iowa became the 29th state of [...]
CAIN, BACHMANN DROP OUT OF THE RACE Replaced by Republicans with Unpronounceable Names Washington, D. C. December 5th, 2011 (SHK) Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain today announced his official withdrawal from the 2012 race. This came as no surprise; speculation was high that he would suspend his campaign because of numerous sexual misconduct charges. At [...]
CHINESE CHESS CHAMP STILL THE WORLD’S BEST Feminists See Huge Gains for Women Ahead Beijing, China November 28th, 2011 (SHK) Hou Yifan, the 17-year-old chess grandmaster from Xinghua, China, retained the title of Women’s World Chess Champion Friday by beating Humpy Koneru, the best Indian woman ever to play the game. “I’m very excited to [...]
SAME-SEX WEDDINGS OPEN FLOODGATE New York JP’s Swamped, Courtrooms Crowded New York, NY July 29th, 2011 (SHK) Thousands of gay and lesbian couples across the state of New York joined in Holy Matrimony last Sunday, 30 days after Gov. Cuomo signed a bill designed to amend the state’s Domestic Relations Law. The bill had been [...]
REP. WEINER (D, NY) RESIGNS FROM CONGRESS Declares “Penis Captivus”, says His “Li’l Soldier” Let Him Down Washington & New York, June 13th, 2011 (SHK) Seven-term Democratic Representative Anthony Weiner (rhymes with “whiner”) today officially resigned his Congressional seat, citing his ongoing struggle with Captain Winky. “Mr. Happy definitely let me down,” he said dejectedly. [...]
